Recovering Feminist

I got hooked in the usual way. I truly like women as people and see them as equal, and as a college student I was deluded into thinking there was some value in feminism because of its institutional power in academia. I was open-minded enough to accept their “critique” of men and society as a valid viewpoint, although I disagreed with some. And I was fine with losing “privilege” and power for the cause. Neither was really a loss since I had never felt I had any rights or privileges over women.

Being open-minded, however, it took me a long time to realize that there is nothing wrong with feeling disgust when you are confronted by certain kinds of criticism. If people say they oppose group hatred and prejudice but are libeling and shaming you for being the person you were born as, or if people are holding you to impossible standards of behavior but accept no standards for their own, you should feel disgusted. These people are delusional or hypocrites at best.  They are pure evil, akin to some of the worst actors in history, at worst.


You should be disgusted by the people who reflexively hate you because of their own baggage, and you should avoid the trap of searching through their criticism for validity. There is no validity in “the patriarchy” or “manspreading” or “rape culture.” These are hateful distortions authored by shitty people who don’t understand society, history or human interaction.

When people tell you to “educate yourself” as much as feminists do, they are telling you who they are. They are people who think “two plus two equals five” and can’t really explain why. If they thought two plus two equaled four, they would gladly explain how they got there to anyone who needed to know. Anyone with a little objectivity can see that modern feminist “theory” is completely self-serving nonsense. It is one Big Lie buttressed by many smaller ones. For a smart guy, I cannot believe what a fool I was.

The Big Lie of course is that the fundamental organizing principle of society is “misogyny” and that women were oppressed throughout history by men through a system of “patriarchy.” Academic feminists appropriated this idea from Critical Race Theory and substituted “misogyny” for “racism” as the fundamental principle. Race theorists in turn stole the concept directly from noted white male Karl Marx and his analysis of class oppression in capitalism. It made more sense as an analysis of race.

In order to fit Critical Race Theory to gender and weave its narrative, feminism has had to erase many inconvenient facts and gaslight on others.  It has had to glorify traditional male realms of power, the political and economic, and denigrate and erase the role of women’s traditional social and moral power, as well as women’s power over children and the household realm. It has had to ignore that women objectify men sexually, and erase women’s sense of possession and entitlement toward men while projecting that entitlement onto men. It has had to ignore the in-group bias women have for each other (but men lack) while at the same time projecting it onto men. And so on. 

Anyone who honestly looks at history has to look past the very few men who had power over society to the vast masses of men who were just as “oppressed” as women if not more so. For instance, feminists will obsess about the disparity between men and  women who have great power as the CEOs of companies, but they will ignore the masses of men who dig ditches for a living and who die on the job compared to women. And what about those times in history when a woman assumed power?  Did the gender “oppression” matrix flip? Of course not. And if women were uniformly hated and considered inferior, what man would ever consent to being governed by one?  Yet they have throughout history and across cultures.

All you have to do to refute the notion of gendered “oppression” is to observe that the forced conscription of men by the state for combat and the possibility of misery, terror and death for the typical enlistment of two years or more is “oppression” equal to several “forced” pregnancies. Or just point out any of the many examples where women’s lives are considered more valuable than men’s.  What oppressor ever values the lives of his inferiors over his own? None, of course. Would Simon Legree give Uncle Tom or Little Eva his seat in a lifeboat?  No.

If anything, women were more oppressed by their own biology than they were by men.  This is why feminists are so invested in denying biology in favor of the “strict social construction” lie. But the necessity, the hassles and the pains of pregnancy and childbirth, as well as the biohazard nature of menstrual blood before modern sanitary methods, are biological, not cultural, facts. As is sexual dimorphism and, as Freud noted, women’s lack of penises. {Err, make that “cis-women’s.”}

The simple truth, the one that explains things with the least mental gymnastics, is that society was organized around the survival of the species and the provision of resources for both genders, whose roles were dictated out of practicality and whose rights were recognized commensurate to responsibilities. Could those responsibilities be oppressive? Of course. Cherry-picking the outcomes of that system to prove an “oppression of women” narrative is certainly possible. But it is just as possible to cherry-pick outcomes and construct a narrative to “prove” the oppression of men at the hands of women. It is no accident that feminism arose in a prosperous time and place among pampered bourgeois women of leisure who had the luxury of thinking it would be “fun” to do things their brothers and husbands were forced to do out of necessity. Note that men of the time did not have the luxury of such fantasy.

Why, then, does feminism have such a hold on society? Precisely for reasons feminists will never admit: the influences of what they call “patriarchy,” and their continued parade of superficially convincing lies. And upholding all of it is the irrational notion that if you feel it is true, it must be true. In the words of O’Brien in George Orwell’s novel, 1984: “The law of gravity is nonsense. No such law exists. If I think I float, and you think I float, then it happens.”

Under “patriarchy” men (and other women) have a duty to protect women and stand up for them, to rescue them. Some people, with the active encouragement of feminists, interpret standing up for feminism as standing up for and rescuing women. Under “patriarchy” women are treated legally and socially like children, coddled and indulged and not held responsible for their actions. Under third-wave feminism, this is the same, and it can lull non-feminists into a false sense of complacency. The fact that feminism is built on what it claims to hate is once more revealing of its essentially dishonest and parasitical nature.

So do not be lulled into complacency. If you hear a lie or just-so story, call it out. If you hear someone insist an adult woman should be treated like a helpless child, call it out. If you hear hatred of any group, as opposed to disagreement, call it out. And do not let anyone, regardless of your gender or race, denounce you for who you were born as.

Time to withdraw from feminism.

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